I've changed the address of this blog. It is now:
http://listenlearnactandreflect.blogspot.com/
Please follow me there by subscribing via email on that page. Thanks!
Listen, Learn, Act, Reflect
Friday, December 21, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Turning Anger into Action
Turning Anger into Action
By Phoebe Farag Mikhail
December 16, 2012
I hung up my phone in a huff, justifiably angry.
The bank that holds my mortgage charged extra fees to my
account incorrectly, and I had already spoken to them to fix that – a month
ago. Today, I checked my credit score,
and discovered that the late payment and associated fees that were supposed to
be waived had now appeared on my credit report – a huge blow to my credit
score, and an added setback to my family’s financial plans. I called the bank
and left two angry voice mails, since it was Sunday.
I did this holding my 8 month old baby girl in my arms.
Still vexed about this issue, I took the baby with me as I
searched for her pajamas – it was time for bed. I found them by her crib, and
while reaching to grab them, she laughed. I relaxed and cuddled her a bit. As I
cuddled her I reminded myself to make sure my reactions towards her are not
related to my anxiety about something that has nothing to do with her. To
relax, I started mentally listing the actions I could take to resolve the
credit score problem as I put her in her pajamas and cuddled her some more.
I also reminded myself that there are 20 parents in
Connecticut right now who want to be able to cuddle their babies, and yet they
cannot.
All of us are mourning with them, all of us are praying for
them, but many of us are also angry. Angry about the factors that led to these
senseless deaths of innocent young children and their teachers in Sandy Hook
Elementary School. Angry that someone, anyone, could do something like
this. Angry that this person had the
tools to do something like this.
Many of us are using this anger to try and bring about
change. Some (including me) have started or signed petitions about gun control
like this
petition from MomsRising . And while a few people will go a step further,
most of our action on this issue will probably stop at those signatures.
How can we go beyond signing petitions? How else can we turn
our anger into action? After some reflection, I believe the most important
action everyone can and should take is to end isolation. A couple of
recent blog posts about the Sandy Hook events have been shared on social
networks (“I
am Adam Lanza’s Mother” and “Plea
from the Scariest Kid on the Block,” for example), and they are all touch
upon isolation: the isolation of being the parent of a mentally ill child, the
isolation of having mental illness, of being abused, of being bullied … And so,
to end isolation, here are two things I plan to do:
1-
I plan to get to know my
neighbors. My next door neighbors – some that I talk to, some that I don’t.
Perhaps I’ll bake them cookies and leave a note saying “hello” to break the
ice. Why? Because these are people who are not on my Facebook and Twitter echo
chambers. They are people who might not think like me or act like me, but who
might notice and say something if, say, my house was on fire, or one of my
young children ran out into the street unattended. They might notice if I
suddenly started stockpiling
weapons and notify the police and/or mental health services. And they are
people for whom I would do the same.
2-
I plan to re-commit myself
to my faith community. I will pick up the phone and call people who are often
isolated: new mothers, caregivers of elderly parents, parents of special needs
children, new immigrants. I’ll even ask about the mental health professionals
in my congregation, who need support just like the rest of us (see “I
am Adam Lanza’s Psychiatrist”).
What are other ideas you have for ending isolation? Please
share them in the comments below.
© Phoebe Farag, December 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)